For supporters
Support the person, not the certainty action.
A supporter can be a spouse, partner, friend, family member, housemate, or anyone who is regularly pulled into repeated questions, checks, cleaning, confession, research, or avoidance.
Connection, boundary, next step
Offer connection
Name the difficulty without giving a verdict: “I can see how uncertain this feels, and I am here with you.”
Keep the agreed boundary
When the ordinary routine is complete, do not take over another check, reassurance answer, investigation, cleaning step, or avoidance move.
Begin the next ordinary thing
Continue dinner, walk to the next place, fold laundry, or talk about the day. Warmth can remain while the question stays open.
Use one shared decision rule
Ordinary routine complete
Do not repeat or take over the certainty action. Offer company and begin the agreed next activity.
New concrete information
Respond once in the ordinary, proportionate way. A stronger feeling, a new “what if,” or a request for greater certainty is not new information.
Protect both people’s limits
The person struggling can need warmth and closeness. The supporter can need rest, privacy, and freedom from repeated checking. Agree on boundaries when the alarm is quiet, make changes gradually when needed, and do not shame, score, police, or force the person.
This guidance is not for coercion, threats, abuse, or clear present danger. Prioritize safety and seek appropriate professional or emergency support.